


Rest

by OrionRedde, Shyrstyne



Series: Cometverse [23]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Werecreatures, Nonbinary Xion (Kingdom Hearts), accidental misgendering, is it still regular teenage angst if your life really did suck that much, unaware misgendering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 14:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18662449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedde/pseuds/OrionRedde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne
Summary: Roxas doubts his friendships. Xion and the Riku's try to prepare for Namine's arrival.





	1. Friendships

**Author's Note:**

> I did these up literally this morning, so if they're a little rough around the edges that's why. I keep finding more loose ends to be tied from the end of kh3 lol

Roxas knows who Ventus is.

…..

….Well kind of, anyway. He got the briefest, most confusing rundown of the situation in the Keyblade Graveyard, and saw him for a few moments at the end, but that’s all really. It’s not until later when Ven comes to visit Lea and Lea spends the whole day jittery with nerves that he learns just what he means to _Lea_.

“How long did you know him?” Comet asks as Lea does another lap around the kitchen. They sip at their coffee as Roxas and Xion inhale breakfast.

“Not long.” Lea admits. “Is-.. I was teased some for my habit of picking up strays, but really.. I only had a few friends who mattered. I only knew him for an afternoon but we really connected, yknow?”

“Sho.. wh’r y’ sho nerv’s?” Xion asks, mouth full. Comet reaches over and flicks an ear.

“Manners. Swallow first.” They chide, and Xion complies.

“Sorry. Why are you so nervous? Didn’t you meet him again before this?”

“Sure but.. not really?” Lea shrugs. “We were all pretty focused on the whole Xehanort battle of light and dark etc etc. We didn’t really get to talk. It’s been ten years for me… for him it was like last week.”

“Is it that you’re worried he’s not how you remember _him_ , or that you’re not his he remembers _you_?” Comet asks, far too casually for how easily they hit the nail on the head. Lea huffs, tense, and circles the table to drape his arms over their shoulders.

“Both I guess. A lot’s happened since then. I’m not some rowdy teenager picking fights for fun anymore.”

They chuckle. Roxas tries to imagine this hypothetical teenage Lea and can’t quite manage it.

“No, now you’re a rowdy adult picking fights for fun instead.” They pat his arm fondly, and he pouts even though they can’t see him.

“Okay you might be right but you don’t _have_ to lay it out like that.”

“Nah I’m pretty sure they do.” Roxas pipes up drily.

“Yeah yeah. Okay I’m off, you guys sure you don’t want to come?” Lea says as he stands and shrugs on a jacket.

“Next time maybe, you two enjoy catching up.” Comet says, and Xion concurs.

Roxas gives a halfhearted shrug.

Lea waves his goodbyes and leaves. Roxas drops his dishes in the sink and starts donning his own jacket.

“Where are you going?” Xion asks. Roxas shrugs.

“Dunno. Maybe I’ll go see Hayner.”

“Oh! Can I come?"

“I thought you were going to check in on Naminé today?” He reminds, earning an embarrassed flush from Xion in response. Namine’s body wasn’t quite complete yet, but Xion worries for her and wants to check in fairly regularly on her progress.

“Oh right. You have fun then, I wouldn’t want to disappoint Namine’s friend.”

Roxas isn’t exactly fond of Riku, that fact is no secret. He has no idea how he feels about Riku’s replica, or the fact that Xion is becoming kinda-sorta friends with both.

“See you tonight.” He says. It’s a short, somewhat curt farewell, especially for being directed at Xion, but there’s something bitter curling in his chest and he wants to get away.

He feels bad. Xion doesn’t deserve that from him, but that bitterness deep in his chest refuses to leave and doesn’t have anywhere to direct it. He settles on a tall rooftop, looking over the plaza and peeks over the edge.

Lea and Ventus sit below, talking. Lea gestures animatedly and Ventus laughs at whatever story he’s telling. Roxas feels the bitterness coalesce into something hard and angry.

His existence from Sora. His appearance from Ven. Even his _friendships.._

Was anything truly _his_ first?

He leans back, not wanting to watch the smiles below anymore, slumping against the shallow ledge framing the rooftop.

On some level he understands he shouldn’t be angry at Ventus. His friendship with Lea, however brief, had been there long before Roxas had even existed. He _is_ though. He’s not even sure why.

He swings to his feet, suddenly restless, pacing across the rooftop a couple times. It doesn’t soothe him though, as his emotions build and he grits his teeth.

_How dare he_

_What am I to him_

_I’m just the replacement_

_It never meant anything_

_I’m_ **_worthless_ **

He lets out a wordless cry and picks up a handful of gravel to throw at the far side of the rooftop. A couple pebbles ricochet off a metal vent and fall to the ground below.

Roxas, suddenly weary, slumps against the wall connected to the door leading inside. He curls up, pressing his eyes to his knees and willing himself not to yell. Or cry.

“Roxas?”

He startles, not expecting someone to find him. Lea has made his way up, rounding the corner from the doorway, and Roxas feels his spirits lift for just a moment before he sees Ventus following him and remembers why he’s here in the first place.

“Hey, you okay?” Lea asks. He’s rubbing at a small red mark on his temple. Roxas scowls and looks away, silent. He pulls his knees tighter to his chest.

Ventus kneels in front of him, guileless smile plastered on his face. It feels very Sora and the sight makes Roxas want to deck him.

“Is something wrong? Maybe we can help.” He says. He sounds so bright and bubbly.

Roxas grits his teeth.

“It’s fine. Go back to your thing.”

“Yeah no.” Lea huffs. “C’mon Roxas, you really think that little of me?”

“I don’t know what to think!” The words burst out before he can stop them, that burning tightness in his chest back with full force. “You’ve got this other friend who looks like me except you had him first and now you’ve got him back and I’m wondering why you need me at all!”

He’s surged to his feet as he shouts, and Ventus tips back from his crouch in surprise. He looks almost.. sad somehow, and Roxas realizes he’s started crying in his anger.

“That-that’s not-“ Ventus looks lost, glancing back at Lea, who’s expression has gone stony.

“Roxas, with all my heart, _what?_ ”

Roxas tries to rub away the tears with his palms, but more replace them too quickly for it to matter.

“You were only e-ever my friend because I reminded you of _him_ , weren’t you? I’m just the _replacement._ It was never about me!” He’s practically spitting. “So now you’ve got him back why do you keep us- keep _me_ around? You don’t need _me_ anymore.”

“Rox-“

“ _I HATE YOU_ !” His eyes squeeze shut, and his whole body trembles. “ _I never meant anything to you did I?_ How could you?! _Why-“_

He feels something yank on the front of his shirt. It’s Ventus, who meets his broken and angry heart with a determined gaze.

“Stop.” He says simply, and steps aside to let Lea pull Roxas in for a tight full body hug.

“ _None_ of that is true, Roxas.” He says, and the boy can hear the crack in his voice as clearly as he feels it rumble through his chest. “Yes, I was curious at first why you looked like him, but _that’s not why we became friends._ And you were _certainly_ never a replacement for him. You became my friend on your own merits, just like Xion did. You’re my kids. _Mine_ . Because you’re _you_ , and no other reason.”

Roxas lets out a shaky breath into Lea’s jacket, the fight and anger escapes him all at once and leaves him leaning limply against him.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you feel that.” Lea says, sounding strained. “I promise you, you’re important. You and Xion are like family to me.”

“I just…” Roxas’ voice is quiet and wavering. “It hurt. Nothing ever seems to be mine first. It’s always someone else’s handed off to me before being taken away again.”

“I’m not being taken away. I promised I’d bring you both back and I’m never letting anything force it’s way between us again. I can have other friends, but our friendship? Is just ours, I swear it.”

Roxas opens his eyes, still half squished into Lea’s side, and sees Ventus has moved off to sit on the edge of the rooftop, looking out over the quiet town while they talk. Roxas sniffs, drying his face on Lea’s jacket despite Lea’s offended protest.

“Sorry. I should know that, but..”

“Having a heart is hard.” Lea says, putting a hand on the top of the boys head. “Sometimes it’s not rational, it feels what it feels, and you just gotta let it out somehow. But in the future come talk to me about this first, yeah? Or Comet. Don’t just let it sit in you until it blows up. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience.”

“Okay.” He let’s go of the hug, and then goes to stand next to Ventus, who’s kicking his feet against the wall idly.

“I..” he stalls, uncertain. Ventus looks back towards him, but not enough to actually look at him.

“I’m sorry. For interrupting.” He finishes lamely. He feels like he should apologize for something else too but he’s not sure what. Ventus looks up at him properly now, turning his body so only one foot dangles off the precipice.

“It’s okay. Do you want to come down with us? We could get dessert at the bistro after. Get to know each other for real.”

Roxas looks back at Lea, who shrugs and smiles, arms crossed.

‘ _Your decision kiddo.’_

He looks back at Ventus, strangely hesitant.

“Sure.”


	2. Meanwhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile Xion goes shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the nonbinary xion reveal was originally supposed to come later, but as soon as i started writing from xion's pov i knew there was no way it was going to happen. Writing Days was hard enough, but at least at the point xion didn't _know_ then. now they do, even if no one else does

Xion waits in the wide, empty hall outside the lab.

Riku was already there when Xion had arrived, a gives a small smile on meeting their gaze before resuming staring at the door and tapping fingers on his bicep- the only outward show of his impatience.

They wait quietly.

The door opens, but before either of them can react a body is shoved into them and then shuts again.

The Riku Replica shoves off of Riku with a huff and a pout, causing Xion to stifle a giggle.

“Getting underfoot again?” Riku asks, trying to smother his own teasing grin but mostly failing. The replica grunts in annoyance and tries to smooth down his ruffled hair.

“I just need to make sure they’re doing it right.” He grumbles.

“Do you actually know anything about replica bodies?” Riku asks, making the replica flush.

“Do you?” The other boy shoots back.

“A little. Not enough to know how to make one though. So unless you picked up some surprising things in Castle Oblivion I’m betting you don’t either.”

“Be nice, Riku.” Xion admonishes. “He’s just worried.”

“And getting in the way, apparently.”

“Like you weren’t the same for Sora.” The replica says, perhaps more snidely then he had intended. The room instantly goes tense.

Riku takes a long breath, releases it.

“Yeah. Yeah I was. Probably why DiZ sent me out to bother the Organization so much. The point is you need to let the scientists work.”

The replica rolls his eyes and then slumps dramatically into a nearby chair. Xion follows and rests a hand on his shoulder.

“She’ll be up and about soon, I’m sure.” Xion says quietly, but with conviction. The replica gives them a grateful smile, which is returned in full.

“Has Ienzo said how long?” Riku asks, and the replica shrugs.

“I don’t.. Talk to Ienzo much. Even says another couple days.”

“Why don’t you talk to Ienzo? Even’s… okay I guess, but I like him much better than D.. Ansem.” Xion catches the word before it can come out. They only met DiZ in passing really, but from what they’ve gathered from Riku and Naminé.. They don’t think they like him very much.

“It’s complicated?” The replica scratches his nose. “Do I apologize for murdering him? Do I not because I was being manipulated too and it meant he got to come back human anyway? Do we both just ignore the whole thing and start over? I don’t know.”

Xion exclaims “You _murdered_ him?” at the same time as Riku states “Apologize.”

They look at each other.

“Yes, I was the one who killed Zexion. I was angry and desperate to prove I was better, that I was _real_. Axel may have put the idea in my head but.. I’m the one who did it. So. That’s what I did.” The replica isn’t looking at either of them, leaning forward in his chair and staring at the space between his feet.

“It was.. A bad set of circumstances.” Riku allows. “But I think you should apologize.”

“At the very least you’ll have a better idea of where you stand with him then.” Xion adds. “And it won’t be hanging over your head any more.”

He hums an assent.

“You’re.. Right. I’ll do that.”

“Later maybe.” Xion laughs. “Since you’ve been kicked out again and all.”

“That’s what? The third time?” Riku asks, and the replica pouts.

“Today maybe..” He mutters. The other two laugh.

“Y’know. Come on, if you’ve been doing nothing but get underfoot you clearly need a distraction. Let’s go out.” Xion says, tugging at his arm. He looks up in confusion.

“What about Naminé?” He asks.

“She’ll still be here. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind us taking a short break to get some food, maybe pick up some clothing for you both.” Riku says, tapping the armour the replica is still wearing.

“We should definitely do that.” Xion nods, having been taken shopping with Roxas not long after getting back themselves. “You’ve hardly left Naminé’s side, you haven’t been able  to get anything have you? I’m sure you’ll both want something else to wear at some point.”

“This works fine for me.” The replica grumbles. “But.. we can pick some things out for Naminé maybe.”

They leave the castle, much to the replica’s annoyance and Riku’s relief, heading for the small square marketplace that had set up in the center of the Garden. Despite having come far from it’s ramshackle beginnings, the town was very obviously still under construction, and the the surroundings echoed that. Still, there was at least one place for a variety of clothing, which they all walked in to with confidence.

The replica steadfastly stuck to shopping for Naminé, but quickly realised he’d never seen her in anything but her simple white dress. What would she like? Would she want to keep that style, or do something different that didn’t remind her so much of bad history? Or was he overthinking it? He didn’t know.

Or at least that was Xion’s impression as they watch him pick up and put back a wide variety of outfits with increasing agitation and without actually choosing anything.

Xion decided to leave him to it for a bit, having picked up that he was not going to get anything for himself, and enlisted Riku’s help to pick out some clothing for him.

“I don’t think he’d appreciate using me as a template for what he might like.” Riku says softly, probably hoping the boy in question doesn’t hear him on the other side of the store. Xion shakes their head.

“That’s not what I’m trying to do, honest. If Sora were here I’d be doing the same thing. If _we’re_ not allowed to wear our black coats forever _he’s_ not allowed to wear the armour.” They pull out a something in tacky floral, make a face, and then put it back. “If he’s worried about combat readiness, something easy to move in maybe. Skirts or loose leggings?”

“You sound like you were attached to the coat. Do both, he can choose himself that way.” Riku advises, to which Xion nods in approval. Riku pulls out a couple vests and adds them to the pile as well.

“I was born in that coat, or at least as far as I can remember. It felt weird finally wearing something else.” Xion admits. “But it’s nice, being able to choose how to.. Express myself I guess. I’m still finding new things, there’s so many it’s hard to choose sometimes.”

“That makes sense.” Riku says, tone somber. “There’s security in the same thing, day in and day out.. But it can feel restrictive, in a way too.”

Xion nods.

“So I guess, I just want to show him he doesn't have to be combat ready all the time. He can be other things, even if it’s just in this small way.”

There’s a cough, and they both look up to see the replica standing behind them, blushing faintly.

“I.. need help.” He admits. “I don’t know what she’d want. Xion, you’re a girl, what do girls usually like?”

Xion bites their tongue.

_Naminé first._

“I don’t know about that,” they say instead, “But I think this is much a guessing game for us as it is for you. Honestly I think we should pick a lot of different things and let her pick from there.”

“Speaking of,” Riku says, handing the replica the stack of clothing they’d amassed. “These are for you. Go try some of them on.”

“What, I said I didn’t-” He tries to protest.

“ _You_ said.” Xion interrupts. “We made no such promise. Go on, we’ll wait out here and pick some more things for Naminé.”

He grumbles but eventually relents, seeming faintly embarrassed. Riku and Xion share a victory fist bump.

“Riku? Dear, you should have told me you were in town.” A friendly, feminine voice pipes up, prompting both kids to swing their heads towards the source.

“Auntie Kaze,” Riku blinks, and then smiles. “I wasn’t planning on coming down into town actually, but we needed to pick up some things for some friends.”

Kaze pulls him into an ample hug before turning to greet Xion.

“For you, I’m assuming?” She asks, and Xion shakes their head.

“No, some other friends of ours. He’s trying some things on right now.”

“Ah, my mistake. I’m Soyokaze, Sora’s mother if you know him.. Though if you’re hanging around Riku I’m sure you do.”

“I do. Very well actually.” Xion laughs. “I’m Xion.”

“Oh! You’re one of the heart kids, Sora’s told me all about you!” She grasps Xions hands in her own. “I’ve been nagging him to bring me to meet all these people but he keeps getting distracted. I almost thought I’d have to wait until the big party to actually get to say hello.”

She laughs, and Xion can’t help grinning to, it’s joyousness infectious.

“That sounds like Sora.” Riku says. “We’ve all been pretty busy, there’s been a lot to catch each other up on after everything, I’m sure he didn’t mean to.”

“Oh I know he doesn’t. He comes by it honestly.” Her tone goes wistful for a moment before returning to it’s previous cheer. “I don’t blame him, or the rest of you for wanting to take some time to rest before trying to plan anything big.”

“It’s been.. Really nice, just going through day to day, not having any missions to worry about.” Xion says. “It gets a little boring sometimes though. There’s so much out there to see, and yet I’m mostly sitting around Twilight Town, you know?”

Kaze huffs.

“Wanderlust, every single one of you kids.” She shakes her head with a grin. “I swear you all get it from Sora, I could never keep that kid in one place if my life depended on it. Yes that includes you, Riku.”

“I’m pretty sure he got it from me, actually.” Riku murmurs, and Kaze barks a laugh.

“Oh you might have had the plan, and you’ve definitely got your own wanderlust, but Sora has always loved to just _go_. I wasn’t at all surprised the islands couldn’t keep him held.”

“What about you? Have you missed them at all?” Riku asks.

“I miss fresh fish.” She says promptly. “No one here knows how to cook it properly either. But other than that.. No, not really. Without the kids to keep me there, and my pack whittled away.. There wasn’t much keeping me there if I’m being honest. This suits me much better, good hard work to keep me occupied, and I can keep in contact with you kids better.”

“We gave you a phone.” Riku points out. Kaze waves her hand dismissively.

“I don’t like those things. I’d much rather have a conversation face to face if I can. Besides, I like seeing all the new people around here.”

“I know what you mean.” Xion says. “The phones are useful, but.. I don’t know. It feels weird, somehow.”

Kaze nods.

“You are a child of taste and I have decided I like you.” She says importantly, making Xion laugh.

“Okay, I did what you wanted, did you find anything for Naminé?” The replica interrupts, holding two stacks now, one of which he sets aside. He’s wearing a short side skirt over loose pants a sleeveless white shirt.

“Oh that’s right.” Xion flushes. “Sorry, we got distracted.”

Kaze looks between the replica, and then to Riku, blinks twice, and then realisation dawns.

“Oh, you must be the boy from Castle Oblivion, the one Riku told me about.”

“Aun-” The replica cuts himself off sharply, nearly biting his tongue in the process. He coughs awkwardly. “You must be Kaze.”

“It’s nice to meet you..?” She trails off, and he shuffles, not quite meeting her gaze.

“I still haven’t picked a name yet.” He says. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Well then, now that pleasantries are out of the way, what’s this about picking things for someone?” Kaze asks.

“Naminé, another friend of ours. She’s still being constructed in the castle, but we thought it would be nice for her to have some things to choose from when she woke up… But she’s only ever had what she was born with to wear, so we don’t really know what she would like.” Riku says, and Xion nods. The replica just holds the stack of clothes to his chest, seeming mildly uncomfortable.

Kaze hums.

“Tell me about her, maybe I can help.” She says, already starting to rifle through hangers and stacks.

“She’s.. Quiet, a little shy.” Riku starts.

“Wise, but scared too.” Xion adds.

“She likes to draw. She wants to be included but not the center of attention. She has blue eyes, yellow hair and she loves pastels.”

Kaze’s head pops above the racks.

“Are you sure you don’t know what to pick for her? Because that was a very good direction for it.”

The replica blushes.

“T-there’s just.. So much to choose from….” He mutters. Kaze returns to them with a stack of folded clothing.

“Here, how about these?” She lays them out. It’s still a fairly wide assortment, but with a strong leaning to lighter blues and greens, with the occasional yellow for highlights. Xion nods.

“It’s a start at least!” They say, and then look over at the replica. “What do you think?”

He considers it for a long moment.

“Yeah, I think those will work. Thank you.”

“Not a problem kiddo. C’mon, give me your things I’ll pay for them.” She picks up the stacks without waiting for an answer, and holding out her hand for the one the replica’s holding, which is handed over relatively easily.

“You don’t have to Auntie, I was going to-” Riku stutters, only to be waved off.

“Come now, what kind of Auntie would I be if I made you pay when I’m right here? I picked out half of these anyways. It’s my treat.” She marches them through the lines and pays, handing the bags off to the kids as they leave the shop.

“Thanks again.” Xion says.

“No problem. You’re going back to the castle right? If you see Dilan tell him to come visit me later, I’ve got a surprise for him.”

There is nothing strange about the request, and yet Xion sees Riku’s mouth twist like he’s got something stuck in his teeth. They don’t ask though. Sometimes they just don’t want to know.

They make their way back to the castle, this time trailing past the lab into one of the more northern towers that the replica had apparently set up camp in while waiting for Naminé’s body to be completed.

“I guess.. Set them wherever.” He says.

The room doesn’t have much in it, a bed, a dresser. They set the bags down and turn to leave. Riku is halfway down the stairs already but something makes Xion pause. They turn to look at the other boy, the one who isn’t Riku, who’s sitting on the bed, looking almost despondent and turning something small and yellow over in his hands.

“Hey.” They say, prompting him to look up.

“What?”

“I just.. If you ever need anything, let us know, okay? I want to help. I might not have known Naminé for long but.. I want to help her however I can. I want to get to know her better. Does that make sense?”

He stares at them, long and hard, something almost tired but hopeful in his eyes. Then he nods.

“Yeah. Yeah it does. I’ll let you know.”

Xion smiles, and then turns away, heading downstairs to where Riku now waits for them.

 _Soon,_ Xion thinks, _Naminé will wake up. And we’ll be able to talk for real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'what was the thing for dilan?' i hear you ask. i can't tell you here, dear reader, because it would bump that rating at least three levels and i want this fic to stay gen


End file.
